My Way Or the Highway - Ascension Insight - Jennifer Hoffman
Posted by Rick O'Shields on December 13, 2010 at 2:01am
My Way Or the Highway
from Jennifer Hoffman's Facebook Notes by Jennifer
Hoffman
Ascension Insight
Dec. 1, 2010
Hi everyone,
here's another Ascension Insight to give you some clues to managing the energies
we are experiencing right now.
What do you do when you try hard to
please someone and no matter what you do they refuse to see things your way or
to compromise with their position? They want their way, no matter what and they
want you to honor their path, fears and needs no matter how much it costs you in
terms of time, energy, or emotions. You are at an impasse and you have to make a
choice that you don’t want to make—to tell them ‘no’, and then deal with the
consequences of their anger, do what they ask and then be angry with yourself or
walk away and risk that they will cut you out of their life (which may actually
be a good thing).
Or you can be that person, feeling that you have to
defend your place in life against everyone else and things have to go your way
or not at all. Everyone in your life presents a challenge to your freedom and
energy and you feel you must always assert yourself to ensure that your needs
are met.
We face power struggles in our life every day and sometimes we
have to decide between several unappealing choices. But we can only see it from
our perspective and we don’t see what is really going on with the other person.
What do they want when it’s ‘their way or the highway?’ What are they afraid of?
What needs do they have that are not being met in their life? Why do they have
to put their needs above everyone else’s?
People who are very determined
to get their way may be loud, angry, confrontational and even rude but at their
core they are so afraid their needs won’t be met that they feel the only way to
do that is to force everyone around them to comply. And because they are loud
and angry when they don’t get their way, many people do what they ask to avoid
the hassle of trying to reason with them.
If we look at the difficult
people in our lives a little more closely, the ones with a ‘my way or the
highway’ attitude, we can see that they are very needy and are desperate for
approval and attention. At some point in their life they did not get the love
they wanted in the way they wanted it and they are going to ensure that they get
it now. As far as they are concerned, everyone in their life is a source of
meeting their needs. And that includes you, if you are part of their circle.
What do you do? How can you meet their needs and maintain your
boundaries?
Lessons in boundaries often involve people who stretch our
boundaries to their limit. Can we maintain our boundaries under pressure? Every
situation provides a variety of choices, even with the loudest, most demanding
people. We can give in because we don’t want to face their anger or we can look
at their neediness and respond in a way that addresses their needs without doing
something we do not want to do. And we can realize that we can’t make everyone
happy and if they are not willing to compromise then we need to look at
ourselves and the kind of people we are attracting.
If we have made it a
habit to give in to them, it may take a few times for them to understand that
the terms of the game have changed and we are no longer going to say ’Yes’ to
everything they want. We may have to be willing to put up with a little anger
and resentment and that is where we back down because we establish our
boundaries and then want everyone to agree with them. They may not and probably
won’t. And sometimes they will resent us for it. But that’s OK because it’s not
about one person winning and the other losing, it is about compromise and you
are not the person who must always compromise your position or
yourself.
But we take that to mean that we are wrong, our boundaries are
unacceptable or we are not doing enough to help others. Everyone has needs they
think are important. When those needs aren’t met they become afraid and strike
out at the person they think isn’t meeting them. That is when we can take a good
look at what we do to avoid challenges and, more importantly our level of
responsibility to others.
We can take on the responsibility for solving
others’ problems and meeting their needs or realize that everyone is powerful,
we all have the same source of power and we choose how we use our power in our
lives. By thinking that others are powerless we take on the responsibility for
their life and then offer our power to them. The greatest gift we can give to
others is to see them as powerful and to recognize their inner power. Whether
they can make the connections to it is their responsibility. And we can step
aside and let them do that in their own time.
We’re coming into the end
of a challenging year and this month is going to give us many opportunities to
create strong boundaries. These are not necessarily to keep others out, although
they can do that, but to help us manage our own energy. Who are we always doing
things for, whose needs do we put above our own, who is the priority in our
life? Any area where this is a question is an area where you can be sure to get
a lesson in creating boundaries that honor you and allow you to always act in
integrity with your priorities, your self and you own needs. You can help others
but not by assuming responsibility for their happiness.
And the people
who approach who with a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude can be invited to sit
down with you at the compromise table or you can send them down their highway,
bless them and tell them to enjoy the trip.
In these interesting and
transformational times, we can be overwhelmed by what is happening in our lives
but there are always other solutions. Here are a few things to help you get
through the difficult moments in your life:
Stay calm, focused,
detached and aware and remember your thoughts are creating every moment of your
life. Think the best ones. As you ponder this and the other things that are
happening at this time remember to: Accept all gifts of understanding with
gratitude and use them to apply forgiveness, release and healing to every
situation.
Ask for guidance and confirmation and then wait for it to
come to you.
Above all, be grateful for this opportunity to be part
of humanity's amazing shift in consciousness as we all ascend into the miracle
vibration.
Many blessings in these miraculous and amazing
times,
Jennifer Hoffman
www.urielheals.com
www.enlighteninglife.com
You can live your life in the
Miracle Zone--find out more about my Miracle Mastery program by visiting www.createyourmirclesnow.com.