The Act of Common Action

Posted by AshAnanda on March 20, 2011 at 10:10pm

For the past two years I have been in solitary confinement, or more gently noted, I have been doing an intensive hermitage. Once I realized that everything I was doing in my life was not aligned with my heart's desire, I knew that I had to take some major steps to get back to my authentic Self. And in the course of these two years, I was forced, by my own will, to accept the dark space of the void-that place of no-thingness-that place where time nor space exists and you feel that you are floating around aimlessly, alone, and, honestly, pretty afraid.


It is scary to initially enter the void, for it has been long associated with death, and death is what it has felt like. Like a strict Buddhist monk, I have spent these years contemplating mortality, searching for the hidden jewel in death. I knew intuitively that in order to truly live and to live damn passionately, I had to come to terms with death and the beauty that it offers. Well, hah, it has not been so easy. The death of the Self seems to inevitably follow this period of no-thingness. For most of us, the death of Self, the death of I, the ego, the identity, truly shatters your concept of reality and catapults you into a state of disorientation. Bah! I feel like I have been walking around completely disorientated for some time, but eventually you learn how to groove once again-this time- a bit more fluid.


This past winter was the most challenging. For a while, I could not sleep and my mind was preoccupied with fearful imaginings. Some days I felt as if lightening bolts were descending down my spinal cord-some nights I could not sleep because I knew I was sleeping and I would realize that some part of me had left my body. For many, this sounds like insanity, but somewhere in my heart, I know this to be the process of returning to love. Only God knows why we fight so hard to accept unconditional love into our hearts, and surely my ego is a bastard. This winter I was faced with the fear that I was nothing- no identity, no Self, no belief or concepts to hold on to. Every time I tried to validate my importance, something would come and shatter that belief. So, I finally gave up and I cried very deeply for the feelings of death. I cried the fears of the world as I faced my shadow and the insignificance of my ego.


What is significant is our heart and the knowing that our hearts are connected to all that is. What is beautiful is waking up, feeling like shit, but feeling deep gratitude to be alive despite any personal shortcomings. It is divine to know that I am so insignificant, but only when I think of myself as " I." It is true, that on the surface, I appear to be separate, an individual who displays varying ideologies and cultural tastes, different genetic makeup, but underneath, "I" washes away, and WE replaces my sense of Self.

And so, to the point of this rant, I want to share how grateful I am to BE in this experience called Life with all of my brothers and sisters, all of the plants and animals, the rocks, and the tiny microorganisms that compose this grand and complex web. Today I gathered with friends to share in Common Action for Peace and Healing. And last night, I gathered with a group of woman to offer our Light unto the world. How wonderful it felt!!! After all these years of being alone, I sat with my brothers and sisters and really shared joy and love with them! It was not about me, my ego, my identity, but about praying for all of our friends in Japan and all of our friends around the world!


Yes, I can make a difference. But my friends, WE will truly make the change. No, this is not an endorsement for Obama, this is a call to remembrance that we are all connected. It is so easy to watch the drama, to watch the news and hear about the devastation that occurred in Japan, now Libya and any other chaotic news flash that are happening. But greater the challenge is to gather together, sing and pray for healing. And truly, in all respect, who cares about God and our argument about his/her existence! The point, my friends, is that WE are the God we have been praying for, we are the ones that are going to help change this world.


Sitting passive and afraid causes anger and disease-singly boldly and loudly causes change and healing.


>So maybe your in the void, not sure of how to take action, where to start and who to talk to; maybe you are taking action in your own way- where ever you are, I pray that you may share your JOY with US and surely WE will Heal our Planet. For the KEY is to share your BEAUTY, share your PASSION and when we all start to do that, unashamed, sexy and brilliantly creative- WE MOVE MOUNTAINS!!!

Web design software by PersonalWebKit