Are You An Emotional Empath?
Posted by Darshana Sanrakshak Shambhala on December 10, 2010 at 6:59am in Empaths and Sensitives
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s new book “Emotional Freedom: Liberate
Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Harmony Books,
2009)
Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it
comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less
apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they
experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and
good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin,
they’re there for you, world-class nurturers.
The trademark of empaths is
that they know where you’re coming from. Some can do this without taking on
people’s feelings. However, for better or worse, others, like myself and many of
my patients, can become angst-sucking sponges. This often overrides the sublime
capacity to absorb positive emotions and all that is beautiful. If empaths are
around peace and love, their bodies assimilate these and flourish. Negativity,
though, often feels assaultive, exhausting. Thus, they’re particularly easy
marks for emotional vampires, whose fear or rage can ravage empaths. As a
subconscious defense, they may gain weight as a buffer. When thin, they’re more
vulnerable to negativity, a missing cause of overeating explored in my book
Positive Energy. Plus, an empath’s sensitivity can be overwhelming in romantic
relationships; many stay single since they haven’t learned to negotiate their
special cohabitation needs with a partner.
When empaths absorb the impact
of stressful emotions, it can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and
drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical
diagnosis from fatigue to agorophobia. Since I’m an empath, I want to help all
my empath-patients cultivate this capacity and be comfortable with
it.
Empathy doesn’t have to make you feel too much all the time. Now that
I can center myself and refrain from shouldering civilization’s discontents,
empathy continues to make me freer, igniting my compassion, vitality, and sense
of the miraculous. To determine whether you’re an emotional empath, take the
following quiz.
QUIZ: AM I AN EMPATH?
Ask
yourself:
* Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or
overly sensitive?
* If a friend is distraught, do I start
feeling it too?
* Are my feelings easily
hurt?
* Am I emotionally drained by crowds, require time
alone to revive?
* Do my nerves get frayed by noise,
smells, or excessive talk?
* Do I prefer taking my own car
places so that I can leave when I please?
* Do I overeat
to cope with emotional stress?
* Am I afraid of becoming
engulfed by intimate relationships?
If you answer “yes” to 1-3 of these
questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding “yes” to more than 3
indicates that you’ve found your emotional type.
Recognizing that you’re
an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of
constantly drowning in them. Staying on top of empathy will improve your
self-care and relationships.
Emotional Action Step. How To Find
Balance
Practice these strategies to center
yourself.
* Allow quiet time to emotionally
decompress. Get in the habit of taking calming mini-breaks throughout the day.
Breathe in some fresh air. Stretch. Take a short walk around the office. These
interludes will reduce the excessive stimulation of going
non-stop.
* Practice guerilla meditation. To counter
emotional overload, act fast and meditate for a few minutes. This centers your
energy so you don’t take it on from others.
* Define and
honor your empathic needs. Safeguard your sensitivities. Here’s
how.
o If someone asks
too much of you, politely tell them “no.” It’s not necessary to explain why. As
the saying goes, “No is a complete
sentence.”
o If your
comfort level is three hours max for socializing--even if you adore the
people--take your own car or have an alternate transportation plan so you’re not
stranded.
o If crowds
are overwhelming, eat a high-protein meal beforehand (this grounds you) and sit
in the far corner of, say, a theatre or party, not dead
center.
o If you feel
nuked by perfume, nicely request that your friends refrain from wearing it
around you. If you can’t avoid it, stand near a window or take frequent breaks
to catch a breath of fresh air
outdoors.
o If you
overeat to numb negative emotions, practice the guerilla meditation mentioned
above, before you’re lured to the refrigerator, a potential vortex of
temptation. As an emergency measure, keep a cushion by the fridge so you can be
poised to meditate instead of binge.
o Carve out
private space at home. Then you won’t be stricken by the feeling of too much
togetherness. (Chapter 8 discusses nontraditional living settings compatible
with an empath’s comfort zone.)
Over time, I suggest adding to this list
to keep yourself covered. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel each time you’re
on emotional overload. With pragmatic strategies to cope, empaths can have
quicker retorts, feel safer, and their talents can blossom.