Standing against bullies and their negativity.
Posted by Rapere on December 7, 2010 at 1:24am in Your Experiences
I don't know where this topic would fit in this forum, so feel free to move it if it's in the wrong
place.
I wanted to know your thoughts, experiences, and ways you've had to deal with a person who would try to oppress you or control you. I'm sure many of us have come across these people before.
Right now, I'm
learning to face an old "nemesis" of mine. Before, I would do everything to avoid being around her because we could not see eye to eye and we couldn't be more different in personality. She is boisterous, enjoyed being the life of the party (center of attention), and has a... I wouldn't call it a "strong" personality, but a dominant one that was controlling.
For over a year, I avoided my friends of the family because I simply couldn't stand being around her as she was really rude to me, disrespectful, and would shove me (and others)
around. She manipulated others for her own selfish agendas in such a distinct and conniving way, people believed she was doing all the things she did for others to have more fun (throwing parties... all the time) when in actuality, she did it for herself. And people couldn't see how she was being manipulative because she made it look like she did it for them, so they would support her.
I couldn't stand being around all her friends or her loud parties, so I left and would not contact my friends anymore... I couldn't see how such a
shallow, selfish, and underhanded person could be considered so highly of.
But now, she has shown her ugly side to them. My friend got a divorce from her husband (which is my nemesis’ brother), and at first she would pretend to be nice to her, but later she tricked her and would scream at her, and threatened her. And my nemesis’ friends would go along with her bullying, which I believe is completely unacceptable. Deceiving someone into a false sense of support and friendship just to set them up is just wrong to me. How low of a person do you have to be to do such a thing?
But now that she’s shown her shadow to others and me, a sense of power comes with it. You’re aware of their ways now, and when you are aware, you cannot be fooled any longer. When you’re not fooled, you can see right through them. When see right through them, you can stand up against them.
I refuse to yield to any sort of oppressor anymore. I am starting to find my inner strength and courage to face these people, and show them who they really should face up to (and loathe, if they really must):themselves.
Just because they are unhappy with themselves or their life does not mean they have to effect my - or anyone else’s - happiness in life.
So what is your solution? What would you advise others to do when they face such problems?